Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize