I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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