So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
