hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
