the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
