i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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