So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
