Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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