I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
