fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
