whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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