How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
