The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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