I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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