Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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