All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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