Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.

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  (914): this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again. http://tfl.nu/zwji
  Replies (5) Good night (2366) Bad night (626)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen

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  (864): I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen http://tfl.nu/n18y
  Replies (34) Good night (6860) Bad night (1449)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me

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  (978): we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me http://tfl.nu/ax47
  Replies (12) Good night (3176) Bad night (543)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.

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  (859): Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day. http://tfl.nu/d01x
  Replies (16) Good night (5998) Bad night (983)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.

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  (706): I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it. http://tfl.nu/ce8t
  Replies (14) Good night (1030) Bad night (4666)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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  (765): Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug. http://tfl.nu/xwvw
  Replies (11) Good night (1137) Bad night (3685)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.

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  (248): If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes. http://tfl.nu/zk30
  Replies (1) Good night (2282) Bad night (994)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.

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  (623): and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/5lux
  Replies (4) Good night (662) Bad night (2652)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.

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  (502): Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore. http://tfl.nu/k6j5
  Replies (3) Good night (1988) Bad night (877)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back

  (906): View more from Michigan

  I resent that

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  (989): If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back (906): I resent that http://tfl.nu/qneu
  Replies (6) Good night (2963) Bad night (1690)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.

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  (630): I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts. http://tfl.nu/1rjt
  Replies (2) Good night (1863) Bad night (545)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.

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  (910): We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew. http://tfl.nu/c4a7
  Replies (4) Good night (1230) Bad night (835)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....

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  (+61): So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year.... http://tfl.nu/e6zr
  Replies (3) Good night (1412) Bad night (418)
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  (415): View more from California

  I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.

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  (415): I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy. http://tfl.nu/udyo
  Replies (6) Good night (1350) Bad night (753)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart

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  (407): Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart http://tfl.nu/psb2
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (220)

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