Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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