Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
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you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...