I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks