Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

and the officer said have you been drinking

(864): View more from South Carolina

and i said NOO SIR.

(864): View more from South Carolina

and he said, I am a woman.

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(913): View more from Kansas

if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad

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(970): View more from Colorado

The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(606): View more from Kentucky

Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience

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(518): View more from New York

At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out

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(530): View more from California

Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.

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(707): View more from California

starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.

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