Your face is a jimmy john
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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