Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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