Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
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Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
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I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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