when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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