pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
