hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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