A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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