Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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