Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
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Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize