Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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