Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
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Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
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All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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