On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
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he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
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You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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