He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize