8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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