his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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