I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
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WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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