no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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