i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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