I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
