He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize