Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
