I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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