hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
