Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
