he shaved USA in his pubs
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
