Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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