I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
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What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
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Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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