Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
