Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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