i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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