I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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