is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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