her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm drive I can fine osifer
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
