Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
