there was a trapeze. enough said
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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