so explain again why im purple
no
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
