Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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