I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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