I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I skipped work to stalk him.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize