She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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