I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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