you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
