why didn't you poke me back
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
