were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
