You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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