Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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