Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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