How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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